Sunday, August 01, 2010

Me again just Being

I was awake this morning before the break of day just mulling over what accomplishments were in store for today. In other words my mental things-to-do list. That is a good sign because for a while lately this in-bed morning routine of thinking or trying to think of what I will do only confused me and I didn't feel like I was accomplishing much of what I needed to be doing. I wasn't getting out of bed with a plan.

Then I got up and it was still before daylight. I sneak out of bed as quiet as I can be and heat water in the microwave for my cup of coffee. Will the ding wake him? No it didn't. I carry my flip flops because ....will the flip flop wake him? Maybe as I walk right past his bedside. Then, I turn on the computer wondering if the opening melody will wake him, (who cares?) Well, it didn't. I thought the sprinkler was set to run this morning but then remembered I changed it when we were having lots of rain. So I quietly unlock and open the back door. Will the lock clink wake him? No it didn't. So I'm sitting at the computer surfing and start sneezing. Yep he woke him.

I guess this is going to be all about me today. I'm trying real hard to balance all the things that I need to do with what I want to do and what I must do. I've had an awakening. For a long time, I have let things go. You know, dusting, moping, house stuff that took time but wasn't absolutely necessary, along with outside stuff like mowing, trimming, hedges, dead branches on the ground, sweeping the garage etc. I thought someone else might take charge and do these things if I didn't because I had to do ART. The awakening; these things are to him like house stuff is to me, not absolutely necessary.

Now, I know without a doubt that not only will he not do the things but it will be a long time before he actually can do these things. So, that's OK. I am learning how to balance things and get everything back in order. I do really like having a beautifully trimmed yard and gardens. August is usually the time of year that I fizzle out as far as the yard goes. But this year, I'm trying to be energized. He did provide me with a brand new school bus yellow "think tank" this week as my old one was just on it's last leg and such a chore to even use. He didn't think we should spend anymore money on it. I finally agreed and had the mower delivered Thursday. Yesterday, before the dew on the grass had dried, I was out with the weed trimmer with a goal of just which "zone" I would trim. Then, as soon as the dew on the grass dried, I got acquainted with my new think tank. What a pleasure it was to go around and around thinking and thinking for a couple of hours with my new and improved work horse. Again, I set out with a certain zone to accomplish. Later in the day when I went back out to take care of the dog chores which includes hosing out the kennels and feeding them, I got back on my new mower and tackled another zone.

Zones. It's all about zones for me. That is how I'm going to get the balance back into my home life, office life, and most importantly art life. So each morning before leaving the bed, I choose what I will do in each zone. I have house zones, yard zones, office zones and studio zones. And of course there is always that chair zone that swallows me up each evening as I crash land.

Today's zone is mostly in the studio, working on my new class collaboration. I need this to be done so I can create the painting of three sisters standing tall that is in my head. That is another good thing; the paintings lining up, in waiting in my head.

OK, I'm just being me here. It is better than nothing.
♥ Sharon

21 comments:

  1. Great post, love reading it. Things will become normal, it just takes some time. Time which make us think about who we are and what's important. And maybe who we want to be.

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  3. Sorry about the delete!! I spell like a chicken:)

    Wonderful post Sharon!! I love your philosophy about your zones and think it's brillant. I hope your husband has a speedy recovery and that you spend lots of time in your YOU zone. Love, Jamie

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  4. sounds as if you ARE getting back into if not "your" groove a groove
    and husband is getting better?
    this new class sounds real intersting tho!

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  5. Loved the post and how you describe the paintings lining up in your head...its how i feel:O) hang in there have a great day:O)

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  6. It certainly is a feeling you described about having control of something when everything changes.
    Your zone idea is one I do flirt with also, I do have a lot of zones right now that seem really about to be condemned as they need attention. I have fallen into a lax mode. And now I just thought of what is the opposite of lax. Not such a pleasant thought either.

    We at this stage in life don't ask for help much, maybe a high school boy who likes to work and needs some cash could help out for 6 weeks or so. I realize that sometimes it takes more time to get some one oriented into a routine of job and equipment than to just go do it.

    So wishing you strength, energy, and to remember a large glass of water does take away some of the fatique. I had to relearn that this summer.

    Today trying to work outside in a humid spattering of rain.

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  7. i loved reading this post sharon, loved reading that im not the only one with paintings qued up in their head :)) xx

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  8. Oh how I can relate to this - well, minus the recuperating husband (hope he feels better soon). I can also get distracted from art projects whenever the apartment is a mess or there's a big pile of laundry to be washed or... It can be hard to just let things be although I completely understand the NEED to work on your artwork, so it's necessary to make time for our creative self. Baby steps, I tell ya, baby steps.

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  9. Every day is a new day full of opportunity. I can type that but I don't always feel it. I'm just glad to see a new post on your blog no matter what it says!

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  10. Love this post, Sharon, and a great way of thinking. I try never to take for granted the things that I take for granted--I'm very thankful for what I have in my life right now.

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  11. 3 sister's standing tall....hmmmm it's going to be amazing! Hang in there, it sounds to me like you have a mental list in order and are on your way to being on track. Best wishes to you and yours!!

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  12. sharon, thanks for sharing your awakening. i'm sort of on the same track around here, learning that there is no fairy who will do the daily stuff that needs to be done while i'm in the studio. darn it.

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  13. You are absolutely right, it's about balance and zones. I also think it's about having a different attitude about the things that need to get done. I mow the lawn on my tractor and it's my creative thinking time and I also do it because I love to stand on the upper deck and look at the pattern of the cut grass around the garden beds or the prairie patches and pond. I clean the bathroom because when I'm in there I like how it looks, shiny and clean and smelling good. I won't touch his shop, don't care how that looks and he doesn't go near my studio. Balance. lol :)Bea

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  14. "Just being" sounds like it is keeping you pretty busy. Now that you have a new think tank I'll expect to see lots of things you have "Thunk up". LOL!

    Looking forward to seeing Three Sisters standing tall and wishing your husband a speedy recovery.

    Darla

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  15. Cindy In CarolinaAugust 04, 2010 7:41 AM

    Just being you is good! Balance.......I wish I could find it.....how? Thanks for sharing.

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  16. You inspire me even driving your think tank.Nine days til the movers come. I am downsizing to a much smaller house so that I will have less housework and more art time.Less money to heat and cool means more art money.
    Can't wait to get moved and settled so I can take a class from you. xo suze

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  17. I can so relate to this post. Thanks for sharing your life, Sharon.

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  18. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate but I love the way you tackle your plate!! Have you ever checkd out flylady.net.? When you spoke of zones, it made me think of her- she breaks down household jobs and makes it fun again.

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  19. Great post Sharon! Balance is so difficult. I really like the "zone" thinking. Any way to convince yourself it's manageable and not overwhelming is a success!

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