I was awake this morning before the break of day just mulling over what accomplishments were in store for today. In other words my mental things-to-do list. That is a good sign because for a while lately this in-bed morning routine of thinking or trying to think of what I will do only confused me and I didn't feel like I was accomplishing much of what I needed to be doing. I wasn't getting out of bed with a plan.
Then I got up and it was still before daylight. I sneak out of bed as quiet as I can be and heat water in the microwave for my cup of coffee. Will the ding wake him? No it didn't. I carry my flip flops because ....will the flip flop wake him? Maybe as I walk right past his bedside. Then, I turn on the computer wondering if the opening melody will wake him, (who cares?) Well, it didn't. I thought the sprinkler was set to run this morning but then remembered I changed it when we were having lots of rain. So I quietly unlock and open the back door. Will the lock clink wake him? No it didn't. So I'm sitting at the computer surfing and start sneezing. Yep he woke him.
I guess this is going to be all about me today. I'm trying real hard to balance all the things that I need to do with what I want to do and what I must do.
I've had an awakening. For a long time, I have let things go. You know, dusting, moping, house stuff that took time but wasn't absolutely necessary, along with outside stuff like mowing, trimming, hedges, dead branches on the ground, sweeping the garage etc. I thought someone else might take charge and do these things if I didn't because I had to do ART.
The awakening; these things are to him like house stuff is to me, not absolutely necessary.
Now, I know without a doubt that not only will he not do the things but it will be a long time before he actually can do these things. So, that's OK. I am learning how to balance things and get everything back in order. I do really like having a beautifully trimmed yard and gardens. August is usually the time of year that I fizzle out as far as the yard goes. But this year, I'm trying to be energized. He did provide me with a brand new school bus yellow "think tank" this week as my old one was just on it's last leg and such a chore to even use. He didn't think we should spend anymore money on it. I finally agreed and had the mower delivered Thursday. Yesterday, before the dew on the grass had dried, I was out with the weed trimmer with a goal of just which "zone" I would trim. Then, as soon as the dew on the grass dried, I got acquainted with my new think tank. What a pleasure it was to go around and around thinking and thinking for a couple of hours with my new and improved work horse. Again, I set out with a certain zone to accomplish. Later in the day when I went back out to take care of the dog chores which includes hosing out the kennels and feeding them, I got back on my new mower and tackled another zone.
Zones. It's all about zones for me. That is how I'm going to get the balance back into my home life, office life, and most importantly art life. So each morning before leaving the bed, I choose what I will do in each zone. I have house zones, yard zones, office zones and studio zones. And of course there is always that chair zone that swallows me up each evening as I crash land.
Today's zone is mostly in the studio, working on my new class collaboration. I need this to be done so I can create the painting of three sisters standing tall that is in my head. That is another good thing; the paintings lining up, in waiting in my head.
OK, I'm just being me here. It is better than nothing.
♥ Sharon
